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Първите три вица са на английски, но мисля, че не се нуждаят от превод:
One couple didn´t speak to each other for about a week.
One night the husband wanted to ask his wife to wake him up at 6 a.m. next mourning, but as he didn´t want to speak to her, he left a note by the bed - Wake me up at 6 a.m.
Next mourning he wakes up, when he realizes it was 10 a.m. he was about to sart a fight with his wife when he saw a little papper by his bed - Wake up, it's 6 a.m.
If you want breakfast in bed,
you better sleep in the kitchen.
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in
bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed
he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
'Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots
of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.'
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll killus. Be strong, honey. I love you.'
To which his wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong honey. I love you too!!'
